‘OpenReach is recruiting'

This isn’t even a question, just a seriously loaded statement. If you are a creative and you have not heard a question like this, then are you even really a creative? It usually comes from the concerned family member and we all know this is code for ' I think you should get a real job'.

This question is a fairly regular one for me. As I have a (now very old) degree in Engineering, I am presented with many inappropriate job openings that people think I am somehow qualified to do. When This is pointed out to them I get the old response of 'well you should at least try and get it'. Which I do, and when I don't even get an interview leaving everyone feeling like shit somehow, it is my fault.

The question is unfortunately born for concern and a position of fear for my well-being. It is assumed that somehow I am at risk because I am a freelancer, that I will be left behind or not doing something normal for people of my age. This question can also be from jealousy as people in an office job can think the grass is always greener when looking at a freelancer's situation.

The killer is, what if they are right? When times are tough it is easy to think everything would be better if I just got a 'normal desk job'. Something that pays (very badly) but at least regularly as that would help 'pay the bills'. It is very natural to want to avoid pain even if that pain is temporary and would lead to something better in time. Add to this toxic mix the wonder that is being alone. As a freelancer that is my default state which means coming up with solutions is often difficult when you have no one to talk these things through with rationally.

So in the end, is it worth binning your entire life to start again? I am not answering that for you. If you are going through this though, then firstly, I am sorry. It is difficult. It hurts. I know this because I am going through this, again. I got the suggestion to apply for an OpenReach job because 'it will get me on a ladder (to what is never explained), it is stable (except the hours keep changing), it would get a bit of money in (yeah, a bit. A very small bit).

I will apply. They will say no. We go back to square one.

In the meantime, I keep working on everything else. I will keep creating.